Patrick Ewing, you would not like it here

malay 089
Originally uploaded by timelgar.

[blog issues preventing the normal colour-coding. This is a certified Tim entry.]

We took a triple bus combination from the Cameron Highlands to Taman Negara National Park - Malaysia's premier rainforest trekking destination. Upon arrival it took a bit of work to find suitable accommodation. Four inquiries at different guesthouses all yielded negative verdicts from our Quality Assurance panel (the Durian Guesthouse, like its namesake fruit, did indeed stink). For 70 ringettes we eventually found a nice bungalo with air conditioning. Soon after unpacking we had to switch rooms because we noticed that the first one only had occasional splinters of wood peaking through the ant-lattice walls.

On our third day at the park, we went for what we thought was a light hike. Immediately it was not light. The highlight was to be the rope canopy walkway which was purportedly the longest in the world. (We would later find that a large portion of it was closed for repair, which immediately begged questions as to how exactly they determined the need for repair. Was it a rope tension analysis type of thing conducted in a lab or more of a tourist straddling a palm tree type of thing? Responses were vague at best.) Before we started the hike, the man at the information booth informed us that the rope canopy closed at 12:00 and the hike there took just over an hour. The Timex Ironman said 11:18. He said "If you go very fast, it is possible that you might-" we were already running down the path into the jungle.

The real jungle. Not the Rainforest Cafe at Yorkdale. The actual oldest rainforest in the world. The dirt path made it easy to navigate, you just had to watch out for the gigantic roots that criss-crossed the track and the occasional palm leaf or spider web in the face. (People do serious trekking through these routes - eight or nine days and nights before you get to a mountain worth climbing for three more days. Camping out in elevated hides to spy on animals at salt licks in the night. Sleeping in shifts for tiger lookout. This wasn't what we were looking for, as exciting as it sounded. We signed up for a light hike. Might be nice to see a few more butterflies, we thought.) Out of breath and down a litre and a half of Spritzer brand mineral water, we arrived at the rope canopy at 11:56 AM. Possibly a track record.

The canopy experience generated divided opinions. I liked it. Laura is scared to look at ferris wheels or stand on high diving boards and while swaying above the jungle treetops she recalled this vividly. Lesson: if you can't make it to the top of the jungle gym, you shouldn't try to make it to the top of the jungle. But she did. Very brave.

After the canopy walk, we decided to take a detour back to the park entrance which would add a few more hours to our trek. We soon discoverd a heat that was so foreign it probably wasn't considered when the word "heat" was first conceived in English. After two and a half hours I was tender-baby-stepping like Agassi in the third set and sweating like Ewing at the foul line (doesn't matter what quarter; two minutes into the game was the same sweat production per minute as the final possession). The added two hours had turned into three before we made it back to home base. Clothes went instantly to the neighbouring laundry service. Travellers went instantly to bed.

The rest of our stay at Taman Negara was relaxing. Meals in floating restaurants over the river, catching up on some books and a great night-safari ride through the jungle in the back of a jeep. Oh, and an angry rooster was living under our bungalow. Possibly angry because he was being ignored by the chicken living under the bungalow across from us - the same chicken who walked up onto the porch of her bungalow and proceeded to squak wildly before laying an egg on the doormat and then goose-stepping back down and under the house. We were saddened to realise that that the egg had been laid on the porch of our original, ant-infested bungalow and had we stayed there we would have had rightful claim to the egg (assuming the chicken had lost interest). Breakfast that morning would have to be roti and curry again.