If you can't stand the heat...

When we landed in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia on the evening of February 1st and it was already dark. This was probably a good thing, since it made it more difficult to take in the filth and danger of the neighbourhood around Puduraya bus station, where we planned to spend the night before boarding a bus to Penang in the morning.

We looked at 3 different places to stay and chose the only one where there were no cockroaches scurrying across the floor when we turned on the light. Not a great first impression of Malaysia, but thankfully things quickly improved!

PENANG:
The bus was luxurious; each row contained three wide recliner seats and we were actually disappointed that it wasn't a longer trip. We reluctantly left the bus for Georgetown, where we stayed in the old Chinese neighbourhood and realized that we were, once again, in food heaven. We were surrounded by Chinese and Indian restaurants and within just a few days our clothes were getting a little snug. (Roti with curry for breakfast, lunch and dinner will do that to you, apparently.)

We quickly adapted to the different system of ordering food. There are generally no menus, so we walk to the front and point at different dishes, hoping for an explanation we will understand. If not, we gesticulate wildly while exclaiming "No Spicy!!!" (Or in Tim's case, "Yes, Like Spicy!") and hope for the best. We haven't been disappointed yet.

Other cultural peculiarities have been harder to get used to; we just can't bring ourselves to eat with our hands. In Indian restaurants and houses there are sinks nearby to rinse your hands before digging in. It's not as simple as it sounds and there are a multitude of rules (use only the right hand, use your fingers so you don't touch any food to your palm, etc.). Due to the lack of soap available, and cultural bathroom habits of which I will spare you the details, (suffice it to say Malaysians don't use toilet paper), we request utensils.

We took the funicular to the top of Penang Hill for the view. A group of giggle Asian tourists asked us for a photo and we assumed they wanted us to take it for them, but they wanted us to be IN it with them. It was kind of like being on the red carpet for about five minutes. "One more! Now over here! Now with this camera! Turn this way!". This has happened to us several times on the trip and we can't quite figure it out.

Anyway, growing concerned about our growing waistlines, Tim suggested we take a little hike to get some exercise. The path started out nicely paved, with clearly marked signs and thoughtfully placed handrails, so I agreed. As soon as we got too far to turn back it quickly deteriorated to a dirt path, and shortly thereafter just a vertical descent through the jungle. Tim seemed impressed by my enthusiasm for fitness but I was actually just trying to outrun the swarms of flying insects chasing us. Just when I thought all hope was lost and was imagining our remains being discovered by a team of explorers in the distant future, we came across the funicular. We made a dash for the unused station at the halfway point and made it just in time. The passenger cabs were full to the limit but we noticed the conductor's cab was empty and we hopped on as stowaways as it passed by. Saved!

CAMERON HIGHLANDS:
The guidebook described rolling hills, cool breezes and tea rooms with scones and cream. Sounded good to me! It also said that it was where old buses go to die. It was correct on all counts.

We arrived in once piece although it might have been faster to walk. It was like stepping into England, only with Indian restaurants. It was cool and raining and filled with old Tudor hotels left over from colonial times. It was actually so cold that we had trouble sleeping the first night. (As it turns out it was about 15 degrees but I guess we've become acclimatized because we were shivering.)

We took a day tour to an 'Insectarium', tea plantation and strawberry farm. The strawberry farm turned out to be a bit of a dud - you could only seem the plants at a distance, but of course there were milkshakes, strawberry jam and t-shirts for sale!

We set off to lower altitudes in search of warmer weather. Also in search of real Malaysia food (not Indian, not Chinese!) and the reason for those mysterious arrows we keep finding on the ceilings. It's starting to freak us out.