How the North Vietnamese Won the War

Vietnam 016
Originally uploaded by timelgar.

We got into Sapa at about 5:30 AM after taking the night train in, which was surprisingly comfortable. Sapa is a small town about as North as people go in Vietnam. It’s high in the mountains and in December is plagued by rolling, heavy mist. Our thermometer showed 14 degrees, but the chilled tropical humidity made it feel like it was below freezing. We could see our breath.

We checked into a $10 room with a balcony that overlooked the mountains. Amazing views every fifteen minutes or so after the tail end of a wall of fog passed. We spent most of the day touring the city (really just two streets) and also did a walk up to a park and garden situated on the side of one of the mountains. All over town we saw backpackers in hilarious dress – basically layered in every piece of summer clothing they had. The flip-flop, fisherman pant, double-skirt, dress shirt, tank-top, silk scarf combination was quite popular. The locals could only watch and shake their heads.

Our room had a fireplace, so we decided to do the Canadian winter thing and ordered five bushels of wood and a pizza and stayed indoors wearing our fleece jackets. The bedside lamp wasn’t working so we had the hotel maintenance guy check it out. He was an older Vietnamese man in a puffy black jacket and a dark green hat of a style that must have a name but for now will be described as “winter army safari”. He discovered that one of the prongs on the electrical cord had broken off in the socket. We told him not to worry about it, but he hadn’t spoken a word of English yet and didn’t seem inclined to start. He didn’t have any tools with him and apparently the three-story walk downstairs wasn’t appealing because the next thing we knew he was biting the head off of the cord!

After a few minutes of gnawing and then spitting the head into his bare hands, he proceeded to strip the wires with his teeth. At this point we exchanged worried glances but just sat there waiting for what we feared was coming next. Sure enough, he took the two bare wires in his hand and slid them into the live socket. Nothing happened. The tourists exhale. Then he actually attempted the wiggle. So bold! “HAAAOOO!” came the deep, guttural sound from his mouth as he absorbed a shock that may or may not have induced a mild cardiac arrest. Before we could do anything, he laughed (laughed!) and stuck the wires in again. I closed my eyes. When I opened them, I saw another wiggle. The light flicked on, which pleased him. He jammed the disembodied head of the cord back in the socket to hold the loose wires in place. Then he nodded to us and left.

That was the night we found out how the North Vietnamese won the war.